Choosing Midnight

Our animal shelter does a very careful job of trying to place animals in homes where they will actually be happy and their new home will be a forever home. In practical terms this means that the vast majority of dogs and cats are labelled "for adult homes only," "for homes with children over 12" and "afraid of loud noises; needs a quiet home." This can be frustrating if you're looking at cage after cage of cute fluffy cat or dog, very few of which are considered suitable for your young, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet family. I mean come on: is there a cat alive who likes loud noises? Isn't that what basements and the undersides of beds are for?

Given the odds of finding a family-oriented cat that met our criteria (young enough for the kids to play with, but not a wee kitten), we asked for help from one of the volunteers, and she headed off to ask someone else about suitable cats for us. In the meantime, we picked out an 18 month old orange stripey cat and a 9 month old brown tabby that seemed like good candidates. The volunteer came back with a couple of recommendations from the staff but suggested we start with the ones who had already appealed to us.

So, we first met with Brown Tabby* and she was very cute and played with the toys the boys tried out on her. They both liked her and were ready to take her home, but it was more of a "OK, this one's fine, let's get her" rather than a "Oh please! Please can we have this one!" So we decided to go ahead and meet Orange Stripey. He was terrified of us at first and hid under the bench most of the time, though he did eventually allow us to pet him.

At this point, both boys were in agreement that Brown Tabby was the cat for us. But for some reason, Chris and I asked the volunteer which cats had been recommended. One was the cat we met on Thursday, and the other was Midnight. We waffled...should we meet just one more cat? Both boys said yes, just one more cat. "And then we'll get Brown Tabby!" said Evan.

Midnight came in to the room and immediately greeted each of us and gave us head butts inviting us to pet him. One eye was bright yellow and alert; the other eye was brown and dim. We spent a lot of time with him, and by the end both Chris and I knew that he wanted to come home with us. We're both of the mindset that the cat chooses its people rather than vice versa, but of course this wasn't supposed to be our decision. And of course (did you see this coming?) the decision makers were in complete disagreement.

Here's where it got complicated. Evan wanted Brown Tabby, but mostly he wanted her because he had made his decision before we even saw Midnight. He wanted to see the other cats because he enjoyed the process of meeting cats, not because he wanted to be open to choosing a different one. Ben liked both cats but really felt drawn to Midnight. Evan still sees things in black and white terms ("Midnight's a bad cat! Brown Tabby is a good cat!"), is the one most likely to have ambivalent feelings about a new pet, and he's also the most headstrong one of the two. If I'd felt completely neutral about it, I would have encouraged Ben to give in, knowing that once the decision was made and the cat was at home with us, he would be happy with either choice. But I wasn't neutral. Midnight had asked us to take him home, and Brown Tabby had simply been pleasant and cute with us. Midnight wasn't as cute, and he can't be an outdoor cat because of his eye injury. Thank goodness Chris was willing to be the Reasonable One, because I was ready to take both cats home to keep the peace and my conscience intact.

So, we took walks. We looked at the cat toys in the little pet store. We discussed. We sighed. One of us repeated the name of his favorite cat over and over again and made up songs comprised of her name. Others of us exchanged meaningful glances.

Then I sat Evan on my lap in a chair.

Ali: We found two nice cats, didn't we? Brown Tabby is a super sweet cat, and so is Midnight.
Evan: Yeah. But I want Brown Tabby.
Ali: I know you do. I do, too. But I also want Midnight. It's so hard to choose one.
Evan: Brown Tabby!
Ali: You know what, though? I really like Brown Tabby...but I'm pretty sure if we don't choose her, somebody else will want to take her home. And I'm a little worried that Midnight won't be able to find a home because he's older and his eye looks funny and he can only be an indoor cat. Know what I mean?
Evan: Well. Well, then, I guess we'd better get Midnight.
Ali: Really???
Evan: Yeah.
Ali: Shall we go take another look at him and see what we think?
Evan: Yep.
So we went and looked, and when the volunteer checked on us Evan gave her a serious look.
Evan: We have to get Midnight. I really want Brown Tabby but if we don't get Midnight he might never get a home. So that's the one we're getting.

We went looking for Ben and Chris, who were coming to find us to tell us that Ben had decided to give in and agree to Brown Tabby since that's the one Evan wanted.

Brown Tabby got adopted by another family today. Midnight is home with us where I believe he was meant to be. Orange Stripey cat and Maggie are still at the animal shelter, waiting for homes.

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*Brown Tabby and Orange Stripey cat each had actual names, which I've chosen not to include here.